Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples & Platonic Relationships

For romantic partners — married couples, dating partners & non-traditional relationships. For platonic bonds — siblings, close friends & business partners

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

We keep having the same fight over and over, and it never gets resolved.
I feel like I’m talking, but not being heard.
We love each other, but we’re stuck in a bad pattern.
After becoming parents, everything changed and we don’t know how to reconnect.
Trust was broken, and we don’t know how to repair it.
We want to make this work, but we don’t know how.
It feels like we’re roommates instead of partners.

If so, I can help. Grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), modality I have advanced education in and, informed by the work of Esther Perel, the Gottman Institute, and Nonviolent Communication, my approach has supported couples, siblings, friends, and business partners who find themselves stuck in these patterns.

It’s possible to experience more connection, love, and understanding in your relationship.

Art by Sandy Broenimann.

What is EFT?

EFT is an evidence-based modality grounded on decades of research on attachment theory. Clinical trials have shown that EFT results in less distress, improved emotional connection and lasting change (not just short term symptom relief). Studies show that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery using EFT (source).

EFT is effective because it targets core drivers of relationship conflict. Together, we identify the negative cycle, look for the emotions driving the cycle and create new experiences of emotional attunement.

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FAQs

In sessions, we gently slow things down so both individuals can feel safe, seen, and understood. Instead of focusing on blame or fixing each other, we explore the patterns that keep you disconnected and the tender emotions underneath them. The therapist helps translate conflict into unmet needs and longings, creating more compassion and understanding. In session, you begin to have new emotional experiences—feeling heard, responded to, and less alone. Over time, this work helps build a deeper sense of safety, closeness, and trust in your relationship.
People often worry they’re “not emotional enough” or won’t say things the “right” way.
There’s no performance requirement in EFT. The work is about noticing, naming, and responding, not being articulate or emotionally fluent.
That’s totally fine! Relationship work isn’t just for romantic partners. It can be incredibly helpful for family members, friends, co-workers, business partners, and any two (or more) people who want to improve how they communicate and connect.
Relationship work applies to all the relationships in your life. If there’s a dynamic you’d like to strengthen, repair, or better understand, this work can support you.
Starting couples therapy can feel like an admission of failure.
In reality, many couples come to EFT because they care deeply and want to repair disconnection before it hardens. Seeking help is often a sign of commitment, not collapse.
Couples often worry therapy will turn into a rehashing of arguments.
EFT actually slows things down, helps de-escalate conflict, and shifts conversations from blame to the underlying emotions and needs driving the conflict. If you start fighting in a session, I will kindly but firmly interrupt the fight to bring you back to connection.
Some people fear opening old wounds or realizing how disconnected they feel. While early sessions can feel emotionally intense, EFT is structured to reduce distress over time, not amplify it. Any discomfort is usually in service of creating repair and closeness.
One partner may feel more hopeful or invested than the other. EFT is especially effective with emotionally withdrawn partners, gently helping them access and express feelings in ways that feel manageable and respectful.
Many people worry the therapist will align with one partner or decide who’s “right.” In EFT, the therapist is not a referee, they’re a process consultant. They’re tracking the pattern between you and helping both individuals feel understood and emotionally safe.
The goal of EFT therapy is to help individuals in relationship feel emotionally safe, connected, and understood. We work to uncover the deeper feelings and needs that drive patterns of conflict or distance. Therapy helps individuals respond to each other with more compassion, care, and attunement. Over time, they create new, positive ways of interacting that strengthen trust and closeness. Ultimately, EFT supports a relationship where both individuals feel seen, valued, and emotionally secure.
Yes, I do. All relationship structures are welcome here. I work with monogamous and ethically non-monogamous relationships. Whether you’re navigating communication, boundaries, agreements, trust, or growth within your dynamic, our work will honor your unique relationship design and values, without judgment or assumptions.

Interested in trying EFT?

I was trained in EFT and have years of experience working at San Francisco Marriage and Couples Center and Bay Area Couples Collective.

Reach out for a free consultation here or send me an email at therapywithmeryl@gmail.com. We can discuss your goals, concerns and how I can help. I can also answer any questions you may have.